You are viewing ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
shewontbeloved's journal
You are viewing shewontbeloved's journal
I lie awake and try so hardnot to think of you.... |
 |
| Killing me softly. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| I figured if my heart stopped beating, it would hurt as much. |
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Aug. 1st, 2006 @ 06:57 pm MY SCHEDULE!!!! | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| Liberal Arts AP Psych Am History H Great Books H AP Eng. Spanish 4 AP History Anatomy H Anyone have a class or two with me??? PLZ say yes!!! | |||
| Jul. 3rd, 2006 @ 04:24 pm anachronism | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
So, I wish I could say things are better. They're not. I've only made things worse with a brand new problem. But its not one i can actually control...but i can....but i cant...i dont know. Im just, grrrrrrrr....someone talk to me.Well, I have a new friend....lets say her name is Mia. She pisses me off, but at the same time...she is amazing to me...an answer to everything...all my problems. Im gonna shut up now.And Im falling in love with this guy. Hard and fast. I dunno what to do about anything... hungry | |||
| Apr. 12th, 2006 @ 01:49 pm Blah <3 | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
Charles is really pissing me off. REALLY BAD. He like, is a liar and he doesnt care about anything but himself. He acts like suck a fucking dick. My feelings for him are going DOWN at rapid speed. He thinks he knows things, but he as NO idea. Maybe if he actually listened, hed get it through his fucking BRAIN. bitchy | |||
| Feb. 12th, 2006 @ 07:59 pm RANDOM | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
I Hate my dad depressedI Hate my ex stepdad I Hate life I Hate death I Hate smiles I Hate zoloft I Hate scars I Hate my phony self I Hate my stupid self I Hate my ugly self I Hate talking about myself I Hate demanding people.. I Hate not being able to be the person i REALLY want to be with I Hate being led on...for nothing I Hate not being perfect I Hate not being good enough I Hate sterotypes I Want....someone to love me...for me.... so yeah...that was random...my zoloft is making me miserable..not helping me...i want to be with PT but CJ is ticking me off....i wouldve dated CJ but hes not who i thought he was...maybe GK will work out... but I like PT alot....never mind...i miss Joey so fucking much...someone talk to me or I'll die. | |||
| Dec. 27th, 2005 @ 12:30 pm Why? | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
Am I like, not good enough for any fucking body? Is it my hair? My body? My smile? I WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING. DAMN. It never works out, no matter HOW HARD I TRY. I have like a chemical inbalance or an immunity to love or anything close to it. My so called best friends dont get it. And HE doesnt fucking get how much I fucking care about him or what I would do for him and it makes me feel like IM the one doing something wrong. SO whatever. Boyz stink. And im fucking pissed. Im NEVER good enough.disappointedCurrent Music: Kittie: Brackish | |||
| Dec. 22nd, 2005 @ 11:36 am Whatever | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
I just changed all my little section on myspace to scrolly boxes. Cuz before the font was black and u could only see commas and stuff. My life is on hold. I figured, I might as well be nice as i can to every1. I'll let ppl do what they want and say what they want cuz I dont give a shit anymore. I'm used to ppl walking all over me, and giving me shit, and now I'm just gonna let them. So much is going on that I don't even care what happens to me I'm just gonna see what comes my way. Hell, it's life. So yeah. Anyways, I put my ipod outside yesterday for DHL to pick it up for repair, then a few minutes later it was gone. On the Apple site it doesnt say DHL got it so now I am scared. I need my fucking music and some bitch ass stole it from me I'm gonna be fucking pissed. I refilled my prescription yesterday.My sisters being a fucking bitch. I HATE THIS. Well, I'm losing emotion from the Zoloft and it makes me feel weird. I don't like it. I don't feel like, me, anymore. I'm like, a different person. I hav'nt laughed ( without the help of drugs or alcohol ) in months. Nothing makes me happy anymore. So I started smoking, and now I feel like shit. I said I'd do it once, but um, I lied. I drink alot now and I wanna stop, but can't. I cry myself to sleep now. If I fall asleep. I usually sleep 3 hours a night now. Then smoke and read and watch tv then cry myself to sleep, then start the cycle over again. I guess theres bitching and fights in between though...well, going on AIM.crappyCurrent Music: Underoath | |||
| Dec. 21st, 2005 @ 10:41 am Random Stuff | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
Well, DHL is coming today to pick up my Ipod. It was working fine when mr.k confiscated it.Now its broken. my mom thinks he did sumthin to it. what an asshole. I mean fuck. AHHHH. I just downloaded the new tatu cd. And I saw JC yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im pigging out on Ghirardelli chocolates: peppermint bark, eggnongg, and cinnamon spiced almond flavors. YEah ........My habits are starting to get to me big time.. Yeah, sux for me dont it? yeah. i cant wait till the new south of nowhere and degrassi seasons!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH, i cant wait. Zoloft smells like lipstick. I smelled it, it smells odd, and if u let it lay on your tongue, it tastes the barbie hair. Burnt barbie hair. Its gross. I hate it. I feel lonely again. I mean, my dog loves me! but wutever. Ill be back later. indescribableCurrent Music: System of a Down : Lonely day | |||
| Dec. 19th, 2005 @ 09:51 am Early Bird | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
Its like, 9:45. I woke up early...no idea y...and....i bet u can guess what i did...yup, u guessed it MYSPACE. The things got me addicted. Anywayz, I'm uber bored and uber hurting from my massie stomache ache. It hurts so fucking bad. Ill play sims 2 later....and Joey might come over later. :) I havent seen him in a week! my sister is the biggest bitch...oh yea, south park was funny last night....then some thing came on, never mind...anywayz, my mom wants to move. before 11th grade. yea, tear. and i stil cant get HIM off m fucking mund and its driving me insane. but i shold stop this infatuation cuz the feelings are not mutual. at all. and it makes me feel like....i dnt even know, just stupid i guess. my stomache really hurts. i listened to SOAD all night and read some hp and wrote some songs.I feel like such a loser. I just wait for him to come online just so i can im him and be ignored. then ill call him a few times to have him hang up on me. stupid again, i noe.and no, its not his loss, its mine...ok, new subject. im gonna go make my myspace red and white. contemplativeCurrent Music: System of a Down : Metro | |||
| Dec. 16th, 2005 @ 06:31 pm YES | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
I got an assignment 2 weeks ago...due tomorrow....did it today! I finished it and it looks, well, ok i guess..today was ok. Not bad, not good. It was mediocre though. Ive been really stressed and stuff l8ly. thats about it. i might go to the movies or sumthing tomorrow. if my mom finds me a ride... cuz shes never home and cant take me places...oh well. I cant wait till break. maybe I'LL get a break from my sister. i wont have to tend to her every need. EVERYDAY. but yeah, other than that, im bored as hell. i had an AMAZING hot dog at target today...omg it was great, and a slurpee which i didnt finish is in my freezer. white cherry. ive got the whole "unlikeablility/denial/"emo"heartbreak/fcrappyCurrent Music: Pantera | |||
| Dec. 15th, 2005 @ 05:00 pm Nurf | |||
|---|---|---|---|
Current Mood:
Not much new.....same shit, different day.....got a big project due on friday...im about 10% finished with it, i really hope i get the determination to do it. I really hope....but damn i dont feel like doing ANYTHING. I feel so inferior to al my friends...usually. I always feel like they have sumthing i dont...always sumthing i lack. then theres tim, this guy who always bullies me. he pushed me against the door and called me "fucking bitch" on monday...i kinda cried in class...ive been so draggy and "off" lately. Im kinda deprived. i guess. if that makes any sense. ive realized how bad my love luck is lately...cu this guy i would do ANYTHING for doesnt "really" know i exist...and no girls like me, so ill be flying my boat solo...wait...sailing my plane...wait....never mind me....maybe ill find sum1 soon. but then again...i think i love this guy. Cj, yeah...but he doesnt like me back...but oh well...im just..a loser? i dont even noe anymore about anything...so yeah...i falling for an old crush again too. hornyCurrent Music: Pantera | |||
